We sometimes we might say something to the elderly and it may be heard wrong by them. We need to be a bit more careful what and how we say something.
When your elderly parent starts talking about the same story that they just spoke on or spoke about all day, try and change the subject to something else that they remember. Don’t try and shush them or if you are unable to change the subject, be careful on what your body language is saying. The elderly are very perceptive and they are remarkably good at picking up on the vibes you give off.
- “You are too old to drive.”
All of us will be too old to drive one day, and when that happens we will become house bound. Imagine not being able to go where and when you like. Try and make arrangements for 2 days a week outing for the elderly charge in your life. Uber assist is suited for the person with nursing aids, like walking frames, wheelchairs and more. Or if you are not comfortable to use them, make a set times and take them to the places that they want to go to.
- “You are unable to live alone anymore.”
This is a hard one. There will come a time where a person can’t live alone anymore and will need 24 hour assistance. It is not fair to keep reminding the elderly that they are incapable to live alone anymore. They won’t be able to make the decision to change that. It is not fair to expect that of them. Rather try and tell them in a nice way of all the benefits of not living alone. Many people can’t always accommodate the elderly in their homes and will put the elderly into a nursing home. I don’t condemn a person for doing that, but I am not for it either. I believe that having the elderly at home or with family to be the best option for them. They thrive under love and great care. Family is the best way to provide that for them. Move in with the elderly person/s. Or move them into your home. They will disrupt a bit of your daily life, but you will be in that same position one day. Each person is to decide what works best for them.
- “Where is your walking frame?”
Most of the elderly people I have worked with forget to use the walking aids they have. I sometimes wonder if they do it on purpose or if they are genuinely forgetting. They don’t like to be reminded that they can’t do what they used to do when they were younger. Put the walking aid near by them when they are sitting down, so they have easy access to it when standing up. Something I like to do when I notice that the elderly person is walking unaided, I just walk along side them with the aid, they will look at it, look at me and then take the aid and use it. I don’t let on that it is a big issue. Just a simple slip of the mind. I am not trying to say that I don’t see it as an important equipment to use, rather I am mindful of the embarresment or humble feelings that the walking aid might bring. Do tell them in the beginning of the importance of the aid and the importance of them using it. Be careful not to make them feel like a child.
- “Why do you complain so much?”
They are old. They feel the cold more than us. They have medical problems. Let them complain. You can try change the subject, but be gentle.
- “You forgot your appointment!”
Don’t we all forget something in our everyday lives? If there is an appointment made, make a note and stick it on the refrigerator for the elderly to see it clearly. Call them up on the appointment day and remind them or ever offer to take them to that appointment. That is a good way to bond amidst all the hustle and bustle of our busy lives.
The elderly feel the cold more intensely than we do. With age, our capillaries become hardened and slow to react to weather or climate changes. And the elderly are less active so they tend to feel the cold a lot more. If the elderly is cold and it’s a warm day out, advise on a lighter jacket to the one that they were planning to wear. The elderly also suffer from heat strokes a lot quicker than the younger people. So they need to wear clothing that keeps the body temperature at a balance.
I hope that you all enjoyed reading this post. I don’t mean to offend anyone and I am not saying your way is the wrong way. We all have different circumstances and act on them in the ways we think are best. I have mentioned some ideas and I hope you will be able to use them or that they will spark an idea you never thought of.